Drink Reaction: Juice Monster- Pipeline Punch

 

Aloha Rad Blog!

 

So, here we go with this Hawaiian weekend. I picked up two Monster drinks that are both Hawaii themed. This one is a energy juice. I picked this up because I believe Gildem said it was his favourite flavour of Monster. Well, I’ll take a taste as well. He usually has okay taste in things, I guess.

 

Well, this can is really, well, rad. It is a bunch of shades of pink. Do I like pink? Sorta. It needs to be relevant. I have a pink polo but that is only to be worn during the summer or nice spring weather. This is a Hawaiian themed drink so I say the pink works darn well.

 

This can is kinda odd. It has like a grip on the sides of it. You can see it in the picture sorta. See the lighter pink flower design think on the left and right? Well, they have this kinda texture you’d feel in a hotel shower. You know what I mean? It is kinda sandy. It is like sand paper, except way smoother.

 

I think I know why. This is called Pipeline Punch and a nod to surfers since they surf through pipelines. I suppose this is what a surfboard might feel like, but I wouldn’t know since I can’t swim let alone surf.

As Monster usually does, there’s a little excerpt here. I’ll take a read of it and summarize it for you.

 

Yep, it is a nod to surfers and a giant wave that happens in Hawaii every winter. This is apparantly a Hawaiian punch (not THIS one, guys) and has “the best of Hawaii.” They include passion fruit, orange, and guava.

 

Funny story about guava. I knew a guy in high school who refused to believe guava was a real fruit. It is real, man. If I ever see you again, I’m buying you a guava.

 

That’s basically it about this drink. I’m truly hoping this is more of a juice than a punch. I mean, I liked Baller’s Blend enough, but this is advertised as a “Juice Monster.” I’m expecting this to have more than 10% juice.

 

Well, other than the texture and pink, this can doesn’t really have anything else going for it. Sure it feels kinda Hawaiian, but it is kinda boring. There’s no waves or anything. At a distance, it is just a pink can.

 

That’s not why I buy it though, because the can could be boring, but the drink could be tasty.

 

Well, it does have more than 10% juice. It has 16% to be precise. This is not really juice then, is it?

 

It has all the energy stuff Monster has so that’s fine. At least Monster doesn’t taste so bad compared to other energy drinks.

 

So, shall I move on to the ingredients and facts? Yes I will.

 

2 servings in this. I figured as much. Thankfully, Monster gives you Nutrition Facts per can so I’ll just be going with that, okay? You’re probably more than fine with that because no one just drinks half the can.

 

200 calories. 0g total fat. 80mg sodium. 48g total carbs. 46g sugars. 0g protein. 200% Riboflavin. 200% Niacin. 200% Vitamin B6. 200% Vitamin B12.

 

Hmm. Kinda par for the course as energy drinks go.

 

 

So, let’s hit the ingredients.

 

Carbonated water, sugar, glucose, apple juice concentrate, orange juice concentrate, taurine, citric acid, guava puree, panax ginseng extract, sodium citrate, potassium sorbate, caffeine, gum arabic, maltodextrin, sodium benzoate, sucralose, natural flavors, pineapple juice concentrate, passion fruit concentrate, niacamide, ester gum, l-carnitine l-tartrate, salt, inositol, d-glucuronolactone, guarana extract, pyridoxine hydorchloride, riboflavin, red 40, cycanocabalamin.

 

RED 40 CHAS RAD APPROVED! KIDS OFF THE WALL!

 

They weren’t lying about the juice. I am very pleased with Monster. They have all the juices they mentioned in the text. I mean, there’s apple juice too but who cares? They probably grow that in Hawaii too. Maybe.

 

Pineapple juice too! I wasn’t expecting it from the description, but now that I think of it, it really is a Hawaiian staple.

 

Let’s open this up and have a pour.

 

Oh! This is less red than I thought it would be. It is more of a dark orange if anything. It isn’t pink like the can or straight red. It is like a sunset.

 

By the way, this is an energy juice. This has actual energy qualities. If you are looking at its competition, you can turn your head an look at our old friend, Mountain Dew Kickstart. This automatically has more energy in it by the 200% B Vitamins. Kickstart has like, 60% or something. The Kickstart cans are kinda small, but still. They taste like they have more in them.

 

Delaying, yes. What does this smell like? It smells fruity, but kinda off. I get a strong pineapple and banana scent to it, but it doesn’t really smell fresh. It smells like it has sat out for a little. The pineapple scent is a lot stronger than the banana, but both are apparent. Maybe it smells of passion fruit. I think it has a vague hint of it.

 

So, let’s taste it!

 

Hmm! Huh. Eh.

 

Well, the initial taste is of sparkling cider a little. You get a strong fruity taste with the kinda pop of bubbles, yet there is no bubbles. Then a wave of pineapple comes in and reminds me that this is a nice tropical beverage. That lingers for quite some time too. It does sting a little from the medicine taste, but that is held back by the strong pineapple flavour. You know what I mean? I can sense the medicine taste, but the fruit flavour outshines it. The after taste isn’t that great. The nice tropical flavour is still there, but it is doing a dangerous tango with sucralose. Why, Monster, did you have to put sucralose in this? It would have been fine without it.

 

See, this isn’t like Punch Monster where it was supposed to be overwhelmingly sweet. This is supposed to be an energy juice so the sweetness of the sugar isn’t going to beat out the sucralose. Sadly the sucralose is garbage and kinda hurts this otherwise pretty good drink.

 

I’ll give this fun yet crowded day at the boardwalk out of rad. I won’t say this is the tastiest energy drink I’ve ever had. The fruit taste is nice, but gosh darn it sucralose.