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I had a coupon for one of these so I thought I’d revisit Bai. Bai, I guess, has a new-ish line of drinks. Actually, they had two, or that’s what my coupon said anyway. There’s Bai Black and Bai Bubbles, but I couldn’t find the Black version. There were quite a few Bubbles, so I picked the best sounding one to me.

 

Here, we have a nice can of Peru Pineapple. I’m guessing that Bai likes to throw names of countries or cities in the front because the blueberry drink I had was Brazilian apparently. This time, we’re visiting another South American county: Peru.

 

I didn’t really think Peru was well known for their pineapples. When I think of Peru, I think of two things. First off, I think of Machu Picchu. Second, I think of the Peruvian Puff Pepper which is real actually.

 

Pineapples? No, I never really thought of them in Peru. Isn’t Peru mostly mountains? Maybe it’s better for coffee there. I just feel like pineapples are more suited for tropical areas. Hey, maybe Peru has a lot of pineapple growth. Now, it is time to play Scott Joplin’s Pine Apple Rag.

 

I’m actually curious on Peru’s pineapple export or growth rate.

 

Time to look up facts!

 

According to the FAS, the top 5 of Peru’s exports to the US is corn, soybean meal, wheat, cotton, and prepared foods. No pineapples. That doesn’t say much because the US could get its pineapples somewhere else or grow them in Hawaii or something.

 

Another source says Peru’s main cashflow is logging as well as asparagus, coca, and opium. Go figure.

 

Pineapples? Not really. Doesn’t really seem that important to Peruvians.

 

So, why pick Peru, Bai? What about Puerto Rico? I’m sure they grow pineapples. Purdue University seems to think so saying “In Puerto Rico, the pineapple is the leading fruit crop, 95% produced, processed and marketed by the Puerto Rico Land Authority.” Bai, if you see my post, I suggest you go with Puerto Rico instead of Peru. It’s nothing against Peruvians! No! You guys are great, but if this was a coffee flavoured drink, then you’d be better suited for this. Pineapple? Not really.

 

Back to the drink!

 

This, I’m guessing, is a sparkling water or juice. The first Bai I tried was just a more high quality juice drink that wasn’t really warranting it’s price tag, but okay to the taste. I’m thinking this will probably be just a more bubbly version of that. Is that a good thing? Not always. More carbonation sometimes makes things taste gassy, like sparkling water with no flavour (or that disgusting white chocolate water).

 

This has 5 calories. Holy Bingo, man. 5 calories in this can? That’s kind of great for people who watch their calories. 1g of sugar too and no artifical sweeteners too. This works for me since I hate saccharin aspartame.

 

The can has that paper feel again like I’ve been seeing lately. I wonder what’s behind it since I knew AriZona used to do that with cans they don’t use anymore, but don’t wanna recycle. What I mean to say is that Soda Shaq, which isn’t made anymore, produced a bunch of extra cans without liquid in them. AriZona then just made a thin layer of metal over it with the actual liquid’s flavour. I’ll see if I can take it off.

 

Anyway, what else is going on with this can?

 

“You’re holding a fruit grenade filled with explosive flavor. Open with care.”

 

Holy crapo, they aren’t pulling any punches with that excerpt. What happens if I throw it across the room?

 

Nah, better not.

 

There’s also a silly excerpt that says they cut the spikes off the pineapple and made a bunch of spike puns.

 

Oh, cool! Accolades!

 

Gluten free. Of course it is. It is a bloody fruit drink.

Low glycemic. Non-GMO. Kosher. Vegan. Soy free.

There’s also antioxidants in this which is supposed to be a big deal. I think it will take at least 20 of these cans to make me less miserable. Unfortunately, I don’t have 20 bucks to just drop on Bai so I’m gonna just drink this one and write about it for fun.

 

Oh I see. There’s coffeefruit in this or something. Maybe that’s why they went with “Peru” then.

 

Ingredients and Facts!

 

1 serving per can.

 

5 calories. 0g total fat. 10mg sodium. 9g total carbs. 1g sugars. 7g erythritol. 0g protein. 25% Vitamin C.

 

What in the world is erythritol?

 

Oh sugar alcohol. I think I went through this before.

 

Ingredients!

 

Filtered carbonated water, Bai Proprietary Sweetener Blend (erythritol, stevia leaf extract), citric acid, natural flavors, pineapple juice concentrate, coffeefruit extract, white tea extract, malic acid, ascorbic acid, beta carotene, sodium citrate.

 

What is coffeefruit? I’ve never heard of that before. It looks just like seeds from coffee plants actually. It’s just an odd way to call them I guess.

 

So, this is not only carbonated in the sense of bubbles, but it should make you more bubbly because of the coffee and tea in it. Interesting. I see the hubbub with the antioxidants now.

 

Well, I’m thirsty so let’s get to trying this!

 

Huh. This is a smaller can than I thought. I guess that’s why it has so few calories.

 

Anyway, I just opened the grenade and didn’t die of fruity explosions so that’s a positive.

 

The drink is, well, bubbly. It isn’t overly bubbly though which is kind of contrary to what I thought this would be in the end. With a name like “Bai Bubbles” you’d expect bubbles out the yin yang. This looks more or less like a sprite that sat out for a little.

 

Actually, I’ll say a ginger ale because this has a similar colour as that. It isn’t yellow. It is, well, amber. Yeah. I’d say this drink is pretty amber. If I didn’t know better, I would say “Ah, what a nice Ginger Ale!”

 

The scent is fruity though so I guess I would have changed my mind quickly. Also, bit ups to them for using actual pineapple juice in this. Well done, Bai. It smells like a pineapple, but it isn’t super strong or anything. It just smells more fruity than anything. Actually, with a closer smell, I smell…coffee? That would make sense, wouldn’t it. I honestly wasn’t expecting a coffee juice drink. This isn’t one of those Starbucks Refreshers or whatever. Yeah, it is so odd! I like, smell a fruity scent from afar, but when I get closer that coffee scent hits me like a bus! Interesting.

 

Well, let’s sip!

 

Hmm. Hmm. Oh. Blech!

 

Oh maaan.

 

Well, fruit and coffee work as well as you’d expect.

 

At first taste I was severely underwhelmed. It tasted exactly like a sparkling water. I was thinking “Oh man, this is just sparkling water.” It just has a carbonated taste and just a dull water undertone. After that, the citrus taste of pineapple kicks in and I start to think the flavour is going to improve. The pineapple is a bit weak at first, but I really thought it was going to strengthen as I got to the aftertaste. Then, the coffee or tea flavour comes in full effect and just makes this really muddy taste with the sweet and citrus taste of the pineapple. It tastes really, really bad if I’m honest. My mouth is so confused, but tart and bitter don’t work so well together. It is like you couldn’t get the tap to run, but you really wanted coffee so you heated up some juice you found for it. Like, why? No. I don’t know if it is the sweetener’s fault too. I can’t really taste stevia in this. Maybe that’s the sugar alcohol that helps make my mouth feel like I just swigged mouth wash.

 

The aftertaste is just the last taste, but it lingers. It makes my mouth numb.

 

This is pretty freaking terrible. Wow. I can’t recommend this at all. I gotta give it a dropping your car keys in a sewer grate out of Rad. Stay the heck away from this.

 

I seriously wonder if there’s actually something wrong with this drink. Seriously. Is there something wrong with it? Like, did the mixture not sit right? I’m seriously about to send this review to Bai. I honestly don’t think it is supposed to taste this bad.

 

Rad Edit!

 

So, I did end up writing to Bai and they pretty much told me that they were sorry I didn’t like it and not all flavours are for everyone.

 

Well, I can firmly say that this flavour was terrible then and it wasn’t because of some recipe error.

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