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Rad Blog!

 

I’m beat today and the beatings will keep on coming tonight so I need a little kick to get me through the day. Thankfully, I saw this interesting looking drink at my grocery store last week and have been meaning to write about it here. This is a Venom energy drink that goes by Killer Taipan. First of all, I have never even heard of Venom. Second, I didn’t know what a Taipan was until I just looked it up online. It is a snake. At least they are going with the snake theme with this drink. I mean, Monster doesn’t call its sugar-free drink “Boogieman’s Blues” or something like that. Venom goes with Killer Taipan which makes it sound like it could kill me. I wonder how I came to that conclusion?

 

The thing is, Taipans are killers. They are super venomous and some of its species are considered to be one of the most deadly snakes in the world. Thankfully, they are only really native to Australia and that part of the globe, so I doubt I have to worry about one breaking into my home and biting me.

 

So, yeah, I’m drinking an energy drink that is named after one of the most deadly snakes in the world. What could possibly go wrong?!

 

The flavouring for this drink is mango with energy. So, this is a mango energy drink. That’s kind of cool because you don’t see a lot of mango represented in the energy drink world. I mean, those “tropical” energy drinks might try to have a bit of mango flavouring, but none feature it as the main flavour. I’m very curious how this tastes.

 

You can tell this was cheap because at the top it is advertised as “own it for 99 cents!” Yep! That’s why I got it. I said” 99 cents for a mango energy drink in a can that looks pretty well done? This has got to either be a really tricky scheme or this is going to be the AriZona of energy drinks.”

 

Though, it can’t really be the AriZona of energy drinks since AriZona has the Rx Energy. Whatever! 99 cents for this is a good deal since it looks pretty much the same size as a Monster can.

 

None of this really matters if it tastes terrible.

 

Well, what else can I say? Is there any excerpts? The eye thing looks pretty cool. Kinda reminiscent of Monster’s claw thing.

 

Ah! There is an excerpt!

 

Basically, it gives me a little “you need the venom bite of a Killer Taipan for energy!” Not a direct quote, but close enough. So, their blend is taurine, guarana, l-carnitine, ginseng, and B Vitamins. That’s pretty par for the course.

 

I just noticed the V and the M make a point that’s like snake fangs. That’s kinda cool. I gotta say, Venom has a really well designed and cool can. I dig this and if it tastes good, I will surely buy more, especially for 99 cents. I guess their catch phrase is “own it” since it says that on the top as well as in their excerpt.

 

Oh! This is a Dr. Pepper product! I didn’t know they were in the market, quite frankly. Well, they have the money to make a decent drink so I don’t see why this won’t be any good. It has mango flavouring too so it isn’t “fruit punch” or whatever others put to make it sounds as generic as possible.

 

Well, let’s jump to the facts and ingredients!

 

The warning is there too. Don’t drink this kids or pregnant women!

 

Serving size is 1 can. Good, good.

 

230 calories. 0g total fat. 360mg sodium. 57g total carbs. 53g sugars. 0g protein.

200% riboflavin. 200% niacin. 200% Vitamin B6. 200% Vitamin B12.

 

Welp. This doesn’t mess around, does it? 200% is on par with the big ol’ companies like Monster. Monster and NOS seem to have 2 servings per can so it is really more like 400%, but this is 99 cents so buying two is still slightly cheaper than buying one Monster.

 

Ingredients!

Carbonated water, corn syrup, glucose, citric acid, maltodextrin, taurine, sodium citrate, l-carnitine, inositol, caffeine, sodium benzoate, potassium sorbate, niacinamide, natural flavors, sucralose, ginseng extract, pyridoxine hydrochloride, guarana extract, caramel color, riboflavin, yellow 6, yellow 5, cycanocobalamin.

 

I see a lot of energy stuff and very little flavourings. Seriously, there’s sucralose, corn syrup, and natural flavouring with glucose. It isn’t even high fructose corn syrup. It is just corn syrup! I’m kinda iffy now reading the ingredients. There isn’t any juices to help dilute the vitamin flavouring. Oh well, maybe the natural flavouring is really that good.

 

Let’s open it and see!

 

Oh my.

 

Well, this is…yellow. Like, it looks like urine. I’m not even going to tip-toe around this; it looks like urine. It was bubbly and foamy too when coming out so, ugh. Agh! Is snake venom supposed to look like urine?!

 

Seriously, though, it is a very unnatural looking yellow. This shade of yellow can only be obtained by chemicals. Now, I get to drink it!

 

The smell isn’t great. It has a fruity scent, but it is mostly dulled down, probably from the sugary-sweet aroma. It smells sweet all in all, but it doesn’t really smell all that fruity. I would know what a mango smells like since I bought one WITH this drink, mind you!

 

Well, sip time!

 

Oh. Oh? Ahh. Er?

 

Well, it doesn’t taste terrible if I’m honest. The initial sip first brought a lot of sour taste to it and it was kind of tingly. Then it transitions into a sort of sweet taste, but it is mostly sweet from sugar and not really fruit. Then the sweetness hits its peak and then I can start tasting some mango. The mango taste is pretty legitimate too. I can absolutely get mango from it. Sadly, it is kind of surrounded by the sweetness aftertaste and the slight bad taste of the vitamins. Letting that sit for a while, the mango taste comes back over the rest, but it then gets cut short by the aftermath of sucralose.

 

I will admit, the mango to sucralose transition is pretty spot on here. I hate sucralose. It tastes so fake, but the mango transitioning to it works because the mango’s taste is almost like the sweet part of sucralose. I mean, sucralose is sweet, but it tastes way more manufactured than say, sugar. When the sucralose and mango taste combine, the sweetness is heightened and the fake-taste kind of gets muted.

 

I gotta hand it to them, this isn’t to bad. Even with sucralose, this makes for a decent drink. 99 cents for this certainly beats a competitor like Rip X or whatever the dollar stores are selling. The only thing this could do better is getting rid of the sucralose or at least mute it even more like some drinks manage to be able to do.

 

I’m giving this a going over a friend’s house and playing his Dreamcast out of Rad. I mean, you’re playing a Dreamcast, but it isn’t yours so at the end of the day he’ll probably delete your save on Shenmue.

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