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Guten Abend, meine Fruende Rad Blog!

 

Okay, that’s all the German I know.

 

Well, Rad Blog! This is an interesting drink isn’t it? This is a non-alcoholic energy beer? It says Energy Brew so maybe it isn’t a beer. What do Germans call their alcohol? Bier?

 

Anyway, this bottle is darn cool. It is like what the kids call 40’s right, except it’s not 40 ounces.

 

The wrapper is very beer-like in its appearance. I kinda want to compare it to Jägermeister for some reason, but it looks nothing like it now that I went on Bing to look up how to spell “Jägermeister.”

 

Funny story about Jägermeister! This one guy I met, probably like 18, and I were talking about German products like Volkswagon, Mercedes-Benz, and then Jägermeister. The guy was confused. He was like “What’s Jägermeister?” I was like its a German brand of alcohol. He was like, “Huh, never heard of it. I’ve heard of Jägerbombs, but never Jägermeister!”Dang man, what do you think makes a Jägerbomb? Sparkling cider?

 

Anyway, back to the Übermonster!

 

Obviously this is by Monster as you can see the logo on the front. It is just one of their many offshoots as we have seen with Java Monster and Punch Monster.

 

I’m going to be honest with you. As a Straight Edge dude, I’ve never once tried beer. I’ve had a ginger beer as you have seen in one of my first Drink Reactions, but is that even the same taste? We will see.

 

What do I know about beer? It is supposed to be yeasty right? A lot of beer is made from hops which is basically a grain. So, it will taste like bread? I looked up Wikipedia’s article on German beer and it says German beer is like part hops, part malt, and part water. Like, anything else other than those three isn’t the original German beer brewing method.

 

Well, we learned something new, Rad Blog!

 

See, I have no background with beer. Thankfully this is non alcoholic so I get to see what all the fuzz is about with these people and their brewskis.

 

I suppose I should start reading what the label has to say about this drink.

 

Ah! I’m reading their little excerpt and it says that they “‘borrowed'” a German brewing process where they take malted barley. It says it has a “clean, crisp taste without the alcohol.”

 

Now, this is where I get a bit skeptical because when things says “non-alcoholic” it usually means there’s actually very little alcohol in it. Like so little it would take like 20 of these to equal 1 beer probably. Don’t take my word on that. I am throwing a number out there because I wanna exaggerate how little the alcohol content is in it. This looks like it has 0% alcohol in it so that’s okay. It doesn’t say a percentage on it at all. They usually write these things.

Hah! They have in the description that it is in a bottle because it is too extreme and the cap might be hard to take off but for those who can’t shouldn’t be drinking this! You guys are funny sometimes, Monster.

Anyway, there’s 2 servings in this bottle, and I will be writing about it per bottle as they provided the details.

 

210 calories. 0g total fat. 350mg sodium. 53g total carbs. 52g suagrs. 0g protein.

200% riboflavin. 200% niacin. 200% Vitamin B6. 200% Vitamin B12.

 

Our friend the label that says don’t drink this if you are a kid or pregnant with one is here.

 

This has more energy than the Java Monster I think. I can’t remember how much exactly. Wait. I think I still have Salted Caramel around to compare.

Huh! This has fewer! Salted Caramel Java Monster has 90mg while this has 80mg! Interesting!

 

What are the ingredients? I’m curious!

Carbonated water, sugar, non-alcohol fermented malt base (barley, casein from milk), glucose, citric acid, taurine, sodium citrate, natural flavors, panax ginseng extract, l-carnitine l-tartrate, caffeine, maltodextrin, color added, malic acid, sucralose, niacinamide, d-glucuronolactone, inositol, guarana extract, pyridoxine hydrochloride, quercetin dihydrate, riboflavin, cycanocobalamin.

 

Well, this is barley and malt. That’s pretty German, right? I said hops and malt. It is probably barley hops.

 

What is quercetin dihydrate? I haven’t seen that one before. Hmm. According to Wikipedia it is part of plants and used in supplements. It is known to help with cancer? Huh! Well, it is said to help, but studies have shown that it really doesn’t work as well as they say. It is just empty crap then.

 

Huh. While it won’t help with cancer, it is helpful to other diseases. It is often found in antibiotics. So, will this drink make me feel better? Probably not!

 

On to the drink itself! Time to open it. I hope I can take off the big cap because I wouldn’t wanna be the loser that Monster says shouldn’t drink this!

 

Wow. They weren’t kidding. This is very hard to open. The cap itself was very spiky and hurt my hand. I got it open.

 

Well, this doesn’t smell like beer thankfully. I hate the smell of beer more so than I hate the smell of coffee. This smells exactly like Monster. It smells of medicine and vitamins. It really doesn’t smell that great, but there’s a hint of sweetness to it.

 

The colour itself is a bit amber to brown so I guess it is sorta like beer. It certainly was frothy like a beer when I poured it in a glass.

 

Okay! Time to taste it!

 

Hmm. Hmm. Oh! Huh!

 

Well, at first sip it is a very heavy vitamin/medicine like taste. It is really bitter and kinda made me think this was just going to be a glorified energy drink. Then the flavour turns into this really odd smooth and sweet taste. It is an odd taste because the original bitterness is still there, but this sweetness comes out and becomes dominate with the bitter flavour as more of an afterthought.

 

With the sweetness, there’s an odd malty taste, but it isn’t offensive like some drinks I’ve had. It actually works with the sweetness of the energy drink taste.

 

It also has this very airy feel to the taste like the liquid isn’t heavy feeling when I taste it.

 

Remember my now and then Reaction to Red Bull? This is what I remembered Red Bull to taste like. It had a bitter and sweet taste.

 

The sweet isn’t just sweet. It has a different texture to it. The bitter taste comes with a more generic water texture while the sweet taste has a kind of light syrup feel.

 

This is pretty darn good. I don’t know how true to beer this taste is, but if beer tasted like this then I can see why people like it so much. I’ll stick to this though.

 

I’m going to give this a Double Suplex out of Rad. I’d buy this again. It has a sweeter taste to it as well as not being packed with caffeine. I would go for this if I wanted a little bit of a kick without spending a whole lot. I got this for $1.50.

 

Good deal, Monster! Wunderbar!

 

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