Rad Blog.


This is the first bloggy post of 2016. Isn’t that something?


By the by, if you get the title then you and I should do something. We should do something cool like some sort of high-five thing. I’m not talking about a normal one. I’m talking about one of those super intricately crafted ones that people call a secret handshake.


Anyway, I am back to work this week after having a winter vacation. Winter vacation is both good and bad for me. I love having time off to just chill and play Euro Truck all night, but I also don’t get paid since I’m not full time. No matter. I’m back to work now so the money is coming back to me.


I think I did a good job with the Steam sale this year. I don’t think I spent way too much money. I was a good Chas and only bought one of the Sims 3 expansion packs. I tell you, it was tempting to buy two or three since they normally don’t go 66% off their normal price.


I haven’t really been bummed out lately. I mean, a lot of my posts here are usually about me seeing my flaws and wishing I didn’t have them, but I’ve been pretty good lately. I haven’t really been sad at all. I think the vacation really helped me relax which is something I forget to do a lot.


I was thinking about finding a passion earlier last week. When I’ve read articles on how to find a dream job, it usually says I should find a job that incorporates my passion. To me, that is easier said than done. For others, their passion is already something they can do as a career.


I’ll give an example.


My old acquaintance-to-friend-to-whatever loved animals. He was very interested in biology and just observing animals. He ended up going to school to be a zookeeper or something like that. His passion was animals and studying them. That’s pretty easy to get the connection between studying animals and doing it as a career. If he didn’t want to be a zookeeper, he could have been a veterinarian or one of those scientists that do studies on birds of South America that get published in National Geographic.


What I’m trying to say is that his passion has more obvious links.


For me, it is much harder to think of links. I also have limitations. He might have had limitations too, but I can’t be sure what they were since I lost all connection with him after high school.


For me, I studied English literature. That would make me linked to teaching, but I know I don’t want to do that. It would make me linked to writing, but the limit on that is talent. I’m not a talented writer in the slightest. Do I like to write? Absolutely. Talented writers are the ones that get published.


Or are they?


I saw a picture a little while ago of a page from a book that was horribly written. It made me think of how this author got published and how I’m not. Then I remembered that pretty much anyone can be published if they have the right tools. It does not mean that the book is destined to sell. It isn’t about being published. It is all about finding people that are willing to buy the book or manuscript.


Anyway, my limit on becoming a writer is the ability to find a good publishing deal and the aspect of people wanting to buy my book. Maybe it is easier these days with the whole e-book wave, but like a lot of Steam’s greenlit games, it is destined to fall on a small crowd.


So, talent is a big limit, but what about my zookeeper friend? Doesn’t that require some talent? I suppose it does, but in a different way. I complain about being talentless because my writing has a pretty informal flow and I am just generally not interesting to read about, but what are the specific talents for a zookeeper? Does a poor zookeeper misread animals so they might get hurt? Does a good zookeeper become “one” with the animals? What is it?


So, maybe I’m wrong about my old friend/whatever having an easier time finding a job with his passion. Maybe he just sucks at caring for animals which knocks him out of the veterinarian running too. Maybe his least favourite class in school was researching animals so he won’t get quoted in National Geographic. That makes him have just as hard of a time as me then, doesn’t it?


I think last year and the year before that was spent too long on me thinking about how much trouble I have when I didn’t even realize how much trouble everyone else might have too. I think I can say the same for people that think I’m just wasting time not knowing what to do as well because they don’t understand my limitations.


My passion? I think I’m a bit closer to knowing it. I think I need to understand that “passion” doesn’t always mean “good at” too. I really like studying languages, but I’m pretty rubbish with learning them. I also like playing video games and streaming them, but I’m nowhere near as good as some of the people out there nor as charismatic as some of the streamers/video makers out there.


Passion is supposed to be a driving force. It is supposed to break the limits and make you shine. This is why I’m not totally there yet because I really don’t believe in myself. I’m thinking far too rationally.


I’ll need to transfer some of that rationality to figuring out how to become awesome at whatever my passion is supposed to be.


A lot of those motivational speaking people try to inspire others by saying hard work makes people the best. I never believed them. I think there’s a bit of natural talent involved as well.


Natural talent is the key to finding my passion. When I figure that out, I’m going to be on my way. For now, I am still clueless.