Can you feel the storm? Can you feel the tor-na-do?
That’s what I thought this was called at first.
Well, this is an energy drink. It looks pretty cool! It is in a bottle much like NOS, but this costs way less. I got this for 50 cents! I don’t know how much it costs elsewhere, but at the Big Lots I found this, I got it for 50 cents.
The bottle art itself looks kinda cool. It is very industrial looking with the whole paint splatter/rusty look around the letters. Along the top it shows what kind of energy stuff is in this drink. That seems to be a common theme for these drinks. This one says caffeine, taurine, vitamins, L-carnitine, and guarana. Those are all pretty standard. Some drinks don’t really have L-catnitine, but they have the other L-something.
I happen to have three drinks by Tornado Energy. This is Storm. What is Storm supposed to taste like? Well, if you can tell me, then you’re awesome. It doesn’t say Storm: fruit punch with an energy kick. Nope. It doesn’t say it on the back either.
What do I reckon is in this? I’ll go with fruit punch. The red kinda makes me think of fruit punch.
Let’s take a small look on the back. Global Functional Drinks. Is that the company? Switzerland? Gutten Tag!
They are really in Switzerland! The website address ends in .ch! Look up .ch on Wikipedia if you don’t believe me!
“Tornado Storm, the double charge of victory and winning. Play like a pro. Drink, play, do damage!”
Uh. I wonder if this was translated from German. It kinda seems too simplistic to be from their English marketing team.
They have the warning! Good on you, Tornado Energy!
Okay. Nutritional stuff.
2 servings in this. 1 pint for the whole bottle?
100 calories. 0g total fat. 5mg sodium. 25g total carbs. 25g sugars. 0g protein. 60% riboflavin. 60% niacin. 60% Vitamin B6. 50% pantothenic acid.
So, I suppose the other names for the other Vitamin B’s looked better than just listing them, eh? Still, this is pretty good. It doesn’t overwhelm me with B Vitamins. 120% is a lot less than 200%. Then again, does that mean less energy? I think things over 100% just end up being turned into waste.
Anyhow, what’s in this?
Carbonated water, sugar, citric acid, artificial flavors, taurine, caffeine, L-carnitine, ascorbic acid, caramel color, sodium benzoate, niacinamide, calcium pantothenate, guarana seed extract, pyridoxine hydrochloride, riboflavin.
Nope. Not even a small hint what this is gonna taste like. All right then, Switzerland; have it your way. It is artificial flavouring too which means it is even more vague. I have no idea what to expect.
So, uh, I’m gonna pour this into a glass just to see what it is like. I know it says caramel colouring, but I wanna see for myself.
Oh maaaaan. As soon as I opened it I was smacked in the nose with that terrible medicine smell which I call “death.”
Speaking of which, there’s not much in this, is there? This is basically water, sugar, and then B Vitamins. There’s nothing else in the way besides artificial flavours. What sort? It could be like cherry or something.
This colour is so generic. It is like urine. I call it gasoline.
Okay. Enough delaying. This is only gonna end one way. I’m not gonna have a good time.
Okay. Here comes me.
Oh. Oh no no no. Oh man.
This is…just as bad as Hard Rock. Wow. I didn’t think it was possible.
There is nothing here. No taste. This is 100% medicine. Artificial flavouring? What flavouring?
It actually stings as soon as it hits my mouth. The longer I keep it in there to try and find flavour, the more it stings.
I can’t tell. Maybe strawberry? That’s a huge guess.
What I do know is that it tastes like medicine. It is horrible. Luckily, there isn’t a huge aftertaste. I mean. the aftertaste is here, but it goes away really quickly.
No. This is just unpleasant. This is horrible. I cannot recommend this at all. Like, don’t even go there. I’ve had good energy drinks and I’ve had bad. This is bad. The taste is terrible. I can’t even pull the whole “Well, I’m not used to that energy drink taste.” No! I have had a lot of energy drinks. This is bad.
I’m giving this broken glass in your knee and hands out of Rad. Stay away from Storm. I just hope the other two are better.