I have been thinking a lot about things. These things are good and bad, but mostly bad this morning. The Queen is off tomorrow, which makes me lost again. After spending time with her and being ripped apart again is like sipping some water and then someone comes up and pushes the entire glass in your face and then you cope with the rush then to find it is empty and you’re left with an empty glass and probably a soaked shirt.
That made no sense. Actually, it made perfect sense. It shows how lost I am already.
Then again, some decent things might be happening. I get upset over bad stuff quite quickly and escalate it to monumental proportions. It is how I am. I made my Sim over-dramatic. He can whine about life if he wants, which I do all the time. He can also fake passing out, which I do not do. Hmm. I haven’t tried it actually. I don’t think I’d do a good job with that. I can’t fall asleep normally let alone fake sleeping.
I’ve been thinking of the upcoming Premier League season too. People are predicting the standings. I agree with some saying it is too early. I can’t even tell who will be good or bad. I have a bad feeling about Villa, though. I like how a lot of fans are optimistic, so I don’t try to say much to bring down the mood. Positive thinking is hard for me, as you might know. I’ve also had enough with fans in general. Too many conflicting opinions for me. I debated jumping ships to a different team, but that wouldn’t have been rad. Going to a “better” team is becoming a fair-weather fan, going to a similar strength team is just dumb, and going to an even worse team is an even worse idea. I suppose the fan base would be something I’d look into and what I see is Villa fans are okay enough. Every fan of every team thinks their support is the best around so asking “who has the best fans?” would result in a bunch of biased opinions. I don’t spend time talking to other team’s fans so I wouldn’t know. I have some friends that support other teams, but I don’t chat with them about football. Besides, they support Man United or something so Villa aren’t even on the same planet with them other than having a rich history.
Enough about football. I don’t wanna tag this as “Sports and Stuff.”
Besides, I don’t really like chatting sports. I’m too emotional for that. That is why I never tried to write anything Villa related dealing with matches or speculating players. Also, I’d probably suck at it since my writing is way too casual now that I’ve been out of school for so long.
Writing about writing, (like you know “speaking” except I’m not saying anything but rather writing? Ah man, I am so lost) I was thinking about writing a story again. I know I shouldn’t because I will get into it and then hate it after writing like 1 “chapter.” I’ll pitch the idea anyway.
I was gonna write this story called 100,000 Years of Discontent where I’m this omniscient narrator and I talk about a line of nobodies who are all trying to achieve the same thing, but each one fails for 100,000 years. This idea sounds really terrible. Good thing I haven’t started writing yet.
This week is gonna start out really low and end medium low. I gotta distract myself with video games. That’s a good idea.
Is “Mr. Brightside” an optimistic song?
I’m a bit peckish. Maybe that’s why my mind is all lowly.
I wish WordPress had like some useless, yet pretty cool thing that could scan every post I’ve made to see which words I’ve used the most. I be it is “the” or “a” but I’m talking about like nouns or verbs. I’m thinking it would be “I” since this is a personal blog. Gah! No! I want like words that aren’t so common. I want words that mean something like “going” or “rad.” I wonder if “rad” is even in the top 100. well, lately I’ve been saying “Rad Blog.” at the beginning of every post so that boosts it a bit.
I played Little Big Planet. It was fun. I am a Zebra.
I think I get sad because I am unsure about things. Like I’ve said probably 100000000 times, my life was pretty much panned out for me: school, high school, job, college. Now, though, everything is uncertain. There is no “next step” there for me. I have to make it myself. I get sad because I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how. I end up blaming everything that guided me before, but the guides were only there to teach me how to guide myself. It is sink or swim. I’m sinking at the moment.
I guess I can kinda blame the guides still. They didn’t warn me of what could happen if I went with literature as a major. They never said I was gonna end up in a slump. Then again, everyone is. Maybe I’m just mad at the major because I can’t see practicality in it. I can’t really see the use. I feel like the effort was wasted. I saw other majors have guides to tell them what they can do, while my teachers kept blabbing on about progressive literature or something. No more digressing.
I should get off this and just chill. When I think, I get worked up about little things. I just gotta stop thinking because thinking is bad. It was the only funny thing he said in my opinion.
I think it was the way the actor delivered it, because if you just read that line it just sounds dumb which would be exactly my case for him because everything he says was so absurdly stupid that my end choice made life much more enjoyable.
That’s it! Post over. Wish me luck…I guess.