Hey Rad Blog.
I had a thought today and I need to write about it. What’s that? Ha Ha Chas had a thought? When is he not thinking? Come on, personified Rad Blog, just hear me out.
When I was a lad, my parents used to keep duplicate pictures in a little box. What’s a duplicate picture? Hush, Rad Blog. You’re showing your age.
Anyway, I used to look at these pictures and I would see familiar faces like my grandparents or people my parents knew, but one picture always stole my interest. There was a picture of dump truck in the lot where my house in Florida was being built. There was a kid there climbing the wheel. I would say “That’s me!” but it wasn’t me. My parents told me it was some random construction worker’s kid but I wanted it to be me. Climbing that wheel looked fun and I wanted to do it.
I have since tried to climb a giant wheel. It is an over rated experience.
What made me think was why did I want to be that kid? I remember me wanting to be the kid in the picture. I didn’t really care about what he was doing. I wanted to be him!
I have a theory that I was used to being in pictures, that when I saw a picture of some kid that wasn’t me, I thought it should have been me.
Man, young Chas was egotistical. I think it carries on to my older life too. I would say I’m in my adult years, but I don’t feel like one nor act like one.
Another theory is that I was simply confused about the picture. I remember a little about the house and the development where it was. I knew when I moved in that house, there were a few houses still being built so I recall dump trucks. I guess I thought it was me because I lived there and recognized the area. How would some random kid be near my house?
Man, young Chas was an idiot! I think that carries on to my older life too.
I saw this picture again today. I took a look at it. This kid looks nothing like me. The picture was taken before the house was even built and this kid looks like he was in probably 3rd or 4th grade. I wasn’t in Kindergarten yet when I moved to that house. It could never be me. Also, the kid was wearing suspenders. I have never worn suspenders. Oh yeah, he was blonde too. That’s a big difference.
Why is this significant to me right now? I guess it was a statement for what became of me when I got a little older. I wasted most of my teen life trying to be someone else. I wanted to be a guitar player. I wanted to be an athlete. I wanted to be edgy. I didn’t realize that none of that was me until I went to college. I am Chas Rad. Identity crisis is one of my hobbies.
I’m better now. I at least know what I am not. I know I am Chas Rad and I am not that kid in the picture. What I don’t know is what kind of person I am going to be or what kind of person I would like to be based on how I currently am.
That, my blog/readers, is something that will not happen for many years to come.
Why can’t figuring the self out be as easy as figuring out which soda tastes the best with Chinese food or which Power Ranger is best (Black Ranger, of course)? Why can’t I just wake up tomorrow and say “Oh yes! I love video games so I will become a voice actor! I am a skilled actor and I know exactly how Grotov the Golden Troll should sound. Hire me now, please!”
Grotov the Golden Troll will now be featured in the next stream.
I cannot do that. I can’t just wake up and decide my destiny. Some people can. Some people knew what they wanted to be as a kiddo.
That is my struggle and that is the prevalent theme of the Rad Blog as of late.
Maybe I’m just lazy and can’t see what I love because I don’t wanna love anything.
Another time, Rad Blog. I’ll explore that thought another day.
Right now, Snyder’s of Hanover pretzels are delicious. I like them a lot. Rold Gold is also good.
I could use an AriZona tea when I get home which I will most likely drink out of my Coca-Cola glass.
Brands are easy. Life is not.