tampico

Ahoy Rad Blog!

 

“What’s this florescent drink in a milk jug you got there, Chas?” you might ask. Well, reader person, I have this punch stuff I keep seeing at the grocery store that I’ve been meaning to try. It is pretty darn cheap too. I got it for $1.50. That’s like a quarter of a Monster. I don’t really have high hopes for this thing because it is so cheap. It looks like it belongs in a school lunch which a 4th grade kid would show off to their table like “You got Kool Aid Jamers? I got this milk jug of hyperjuice!”

 

Yes, this comes in other flavours, but they were out of the red red one as well as the highlighter yellow one. They did have the neon green one, but I skipped on that since it is just lemon lime. This is Island PUNCH! I can’t go wrong with Island PUNCH!

 

I bought a big ol’ gallon jug as I don’t think single servings ( I say that with my eyes rolling because those cans are always 2 servings or some crap like that) exist for this brand. I keep calling it Tampoco for whatever reason. Doesn’t that mean “nether” in Spanish?

 

Anyway, lemme run out to the fridge and check the ingredients.

On second though, I’ll bring it here.

 

Jeeze. This has almost as many as a Monster.

 

Water, high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, corn oil, food startch-modified, potassium citrate, xanthan gum, ascorbic acid (Vitamin C), potassium sorbate, sodium citrate, orange juice from concentrate, malic acid, natural and artificial flavors, sucralose, acesulfame potassium, edta, pineapple juice from concentrate, fd&c yellow 5, fd&c, yellow 6, neotame.

 

Okay, I can pronounce a lot of these. There’s actual juice in this too! Take a bloody note, Mountain Dew. This gallon jug was $1.50 and they put in juice of the flavours advertised. For a dollar, you think you could spare some orange juice?!

 

I’m not to afraid to drink this, honestly. It seems just like sugar water with some juice for flavouring. I’m not sure what the whole “FD&C” stands for as I usually just see “Yellow 5” or “Blue 1” or whatever.

 

Nutrition Facts? Probably not good for you.

 

16 servings in this. I’m sure I’ll drink about 9. 20 mg of sodium, 14g of carbs, 12g of sugar, 100% Vitamin C. This is a little b3it better for you than soda, but I wouldn’t say that some neo-parent should give it to their kids…cause you know, they have 3 of them. Let’s get my Vitamin C!

 

Oh yeah! Keep in mind, it is advertised as pineapple, banana, and orange. There was 2 out of 3. I guess you can’t really have banana juice. The potassium is there anyway.

 

Oof! Smells like a melted popsicle. I totally get the island smell from this. Go to a luau, you’ll smell the fruits that this drink is probably not made of. It is actually pretty hypnotizing. I like….want my room to smell like this.

 

The liquid itself is the consistency of any kind of juice you’d drink. It looks exactly like it does in the jug. Let’s taste it!

 

Hmm.

Oh.

 

Well, it IS a bit fruity, but the fake sugar used is pretty dreadful. It kinda burns the taste buds actually. Ugh. It kinda has that medicine taste too. Maybe it is my mind playing tricks on me. Lemme get another sip.

 

There’s a tiny medicine after taste, but it mostly tastes like watered down juice with fake sugar.

 

The funny thing is, I taste more banana than anything. I know it has orange and pineapple, but the first taste I get is banana. The pineapple comes in to save the day from the medicine taste. Orange…is not really there. I can kinda see it having a full undertone, but it isn’t very apparent. Maybe I need to shake it. It doesn’t say to shake it on the jug.

 

This isn’t that great, but it could be worse. I probably won’t get this again, but for $1.50, the only regret I have is that I have to finish that jug. Maybe my brother will like it…

 

I give this….hmmm. I give it non-Sunday newspaper comics out of Rad.

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