Hey Rad Blog.
I’m feeling a bit slow today. Everything is feeling a bit slow for me. My reactions seem a bit dampened, which I noticed today on Mass Effect. Traffic was moving way slow today too on the way to work. The roads are pretty clear from the snow too.
The biggest thing is my mind. It feels horribly, horribly slow. I feel especially dumb today because I can’t think of words to say. I stumbled for a good few minutes on the word “recycle.” I kept saying “Oh put it in that bin there” where the person was like “which bin?” Then I was like “You know the bin where they take the stuff and reuse it. The r…re…reeeee?” They were like “recycle?”
I just feel like all the things I know are leaking out of my head. I looked at this math problem this professor was giving out to his students and I couldn’t even begin to think how to do it. Am I that bad at math that I don’t have an inkling how to even start it?
I feel like this whole phase of me not working/sorta working/not having a plan for lie has made me more sensitive to things which in turn has made me think less with my head and more with my animalistic mind. Didn’t like Freud say something about this? Said something like when we are unfulfilled we tend to do things. I think the one stage was like one of the reasons why people smoke because they didn’t get something fulfilled as a baby. I don’t know. This is crap I learned once that just floats in my mind and doesn’t go anywhere.
This made me think about work and what I can do in the future. That’s my big problem. The career people said I should focus on what I wanna do, but my problem is I don’t know what I can do. Want and can are not the same, this I know. What do I want to do? I don’t really know.
What do I like? Football. I like football. I like watching it. I spend my days reading the Twitter people talk about it. I am not super knowledgeable on it, but I like reading stuff on it. What else do I like? Writing on this blog. I like that a lot, but could I do it full time? I don’t know what I’d write to make people read. Most people don’t even like what I have to say. I just like writing for the sake of writing. I don’t wanna write for the people. I like writing to the people and it is their choice to read it or not.
I like some video games. I would not say I am a gamer because I am not. I like playing some games and replaying games, but I’m not in the world of it. I don’t check the news. I am not interested in stories or graphics or engines. I just play it to have fun. I’m still playing Sims 3. I play the same 4 characters that I did when I started.
What can I do? Office work. I’m fairly decent on closing an office and working the nights. I can do mail. I can copy. I can answer phones.
I guess I can tutor, but I really hated it in the second coming.
Other than that, what can I do? Simple tasks like take this to this guy on the other side of the complex. Ask so and so if they can fill in at this time. I can do all that stuff. Assistant. I’m a fair assistant. I’m fair as long as you don’t make me have too much responsibility because I’ll probably make you look like a goof. I’m like an old football player that was pretty good in his day and now is trying to coach. Some of them turn out rather rubbish because they just knew how to play and aren’t that good at teaching others how to play a position different from the one they played or how to create tactics. It is easier to be told what to do than telling others what to do.
That makes me a can-do kinda guy. In work, if I’m told to do something, I do exactly what I’m told. It can be objective with little detail. I’ll figure it out on my own, but when it comes to telling others to do something, I am not so good. No one respects lil Chas Rad enough to see him as a boss. They respect him as a part of a team. Chas Rad is a true party member. If I was a Mass Effect character, I’d be a solid party member that won’t fail in combat, like Garrus.
Oh dear…I’m Alistair.
Do this. Do that. Swooping is…..bad.
Oh no, I’m not funny but I think I am! This is a travesty.
Maybe that’s why I dislike him so much because he reminds me of myself. Indirectly hating myself. I wouldn’t be surprised.
Back on track.
I’m not overly ambitious when it comes to getting to the top. I really just wanna get somewhere and be the best I can be at that single thing. Myth of Sisyphus.
I just need a break. Let me in, place of work. Give Chas a go. He won’t hinder you. The worst I will do is balls up something, but redemption is something I’m quite good at doing.
I was helping Grooveshark out with some of their server and layout feedback. It was pretty cool talking with a company I really like.
I had a crazy idea to contact some MLS team and be like yo, you should totally hire me in your office. I can’t mess up the team there, but I can certainly be a super supporter and a good assistant. Totally do it, MLS team (preferably DC United or Seattle Sounders). Even better would be working for Aston Villa, but I know that would never happen since I’m from the US and they are in the UK and I’m a nobody from nowhere. Gatsby? What Gatsby?
Jay Gatsby made his money in something. Probably booze. These are different times. I can’t smuggle booze for a scary man with human molar cufflinks, old sport.
So it goes. I will be okay. I needed to write here to feel better. Maybe I need to write more often to feel less slow. I think that might be the case. I wanna review/react to more stuff I can find to eat or drink. I talked to my brother about that Mountain Dew thing and he said I picked the worst flavour out of them all. Of course.
I wanna review the Red Bull series. You ever see them? I think they have Red, White, and Blue. Red Bull is pretty expensive for the size, so I’ll do it if they ever go on sale or something. I’ve been meaning to try the Nos drink thing. Back in high school, I had a friend who had one every day for lunch. I remember having a Rock Star energy drink as a youngin’ and hated the taste. Gildem is always drinking Monster, so I might give that a go.
7-Eleven used to have their own soda brand, but I can’t find it anymore.
I’ll take suggestions too for stuff. I tend to do food reviews on video, but I don’t mind writing them. Maybe when the summer hits and it is pretty hot, I’ll do slushies, but I take my time writing it and talking about it. It will probably melt by the time I drink it.
If I had a good opinion on something, I’d make a review blog. The fact is, I do not have a good opinion and no one cares what I think. I just write it for entertainment purposes. No one should take my recommendations seriously. For the love of chocolate, I vehemently dislike Ocarina of Time. That must show how stupid I am. Everyone loves that game, so I must have no taste in games because how wrong I am and for the reasons I don’t like it (it is bloody boring).
Enough! Chas, you are getting in a slump again. Best to end this post before you go off on a wind. This cup of tea is done. I need another. Cuppa tea, love? Cuppa tea?
The poll thing. Yeah. I’ll give the results soon. Maybe Saturday.
Bonne Nuit et À Bientôt