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Good morning, Rad Blogington.

 

It is 9 AM on a Saturday! What?! Why are you up, Chas? Well, retrospective Chas and/or reader wondering the same thing, I work on Saturdays and that means getting up at 7 AM to get here for 8:30. It is like reverse school!

 

I usually bring a cuppa tea with me to work, but I wanted to try something a bit different. Now that I have un-sworn off caffeine, I wanted to get into trying these energy drink-like things. I know how horrible they are for me, so this is why I am not getting them all the time. Despite my un-swearing off, I still usually go for caffeine free drinks. Today, I wanted to give this a shot. My brother likes these actually. He’s tried all the flavours. This would be my first taste of this.

 

What I understand from the Mountain Dew KickStart is that it is basically Mountain Dew with more caffeine but dulled with fruit juice. On the can it says “Flavored sparkling juice beverage blend from concentrate with other natural flavors.” So, what I gather from this is that it is a sparkling juice with a caffeine kick.

 

There’s 80 calories per can which is far less than I figured it might be. It is slightly larger than most cans, but not nearly as big as AriZona. On the other side of the can it says “Energizing orange citrus with the right amount of KICK” the word “KICK” is in a cool green box that’s just so cool that the K in “Kick” makes the box protrude out on it’s perfect rectangle shape. What a rebel!

 

Oh lord. Wow there’s a lot of ingredients. From the top then:

Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, white grape juice concentrate, concentrated orange juice, citric acid, sodium hexametaphosphate (to protect flavor), natural flavor, gum arabic, potassium sorbate (preserves freshness), ascorbic acid (Vitamin C), caffeine, sodium citrate, acesulfame potassium, sucrose acetate isobutyrate, sucralose, glycerol ester of rosin, sodium benzoate (preserves freshness), niacinamide (Vitamin B3), calcium disodium edta (to protect flavor), calcium pantothenate (Vitamin B5), yellow 5, yellow 6, pyridozime hydrochloride (Vitamin B6).

 

 

For your information, I did not just pound on the keyboard. Those impossible to say words are, indeed, in this, and I am, indeed, going to consume them. That is a very, very scary thought. Good thing this is a once in a while thing because my word they are intimidating. Hexametaphosphate? Pyridozime hydrochloride?! The parentheses help me, but do I really trust em? Let’s just move on to the nutrition facts.

 

80 calories per serving which is 1 can. They didn’t lie! 0% fat. 8% sodium which is kinda a surprise since I figured with all that hard to say words with sodium in front of it that there would be more than 8%. 7& total carbs. 20g of sugar which isn’t a lot either. I was expecting like 50-100. 0g of protein. 100% Vitamin C! Hmm! 80% Niacin…whatever that is. 80% Vitamin B6.

60% Pantothenic Acid….that doesn’t sound very healthy. 10% Phosphorus. That also doesn’t sound very healthy.

 

Looking them up right now.

Pantothenic Acid is actually Vitamin B5 or an off-shoot of it. That’s okay I guess. Niacin is Vitamin B3 or an off-shoot of it. Okay. I see there’s Niacin supplements out there so I guess it isn’t terrible.

 

Let’s move on to the part where I look at it and taste it.

 

Oh yeah, contains 5% juice. Grape and orange from the look of it.

 

Hmm! Smells of orange juice. It looks like orange juice too, but like it’s been past expiration for a month. It isn’t thick like orange juice. It is more thing like water or soda. It kinda has that orange colour, but it looks way more yellow. It does have a nice smell to it! Very fruity actually. Quite pleasant. Let’s have a taste, shall we?

 

Hmm. Oh no.

 

Well, the first taste isn’t so bad. It tastes like a pretty crap fruit drink. Then I get a taste of the grape juice which tastes of really low quality grape drink. Then I get this horrible medical taste. Reminds me the doctor’s office. Like medicine or something. Let’s see if another taste makes it better.

 

Hmm. Slightly. Now that the medicine taste kinda had it’s way, I taste more of the horrible juice flavour which is like when it’s raining outside and you need to walk home only to find that a water pipe burst in your house and all your crap is waterlogged. You’d almost prefer walking in the rain instead of knowing your stuff got destroyed by a water pipe burst.

 

No. Would not recommend this. The commercial make it look cooler with that diver dancing and that dog and deer joining.  There was an advertisement for the advertisement…. What a world.

 

Maybe this grows on you. The medicine taste is getting less and less with each sip and the juice taste is less-bad too. I wouldn’t buy this at $2.00 dollars though. Not again anyway. The can doesn’t say to shake it so I didn’t. Hmmm. No.

 

Okay! I know the secret to drinking this. You have to ignore the fact you’re drinking it. Only then will the taste not be apparent and you’ll think you’re just drinking poorly flavoured carbonated juice.

 

I hope the other energy drinks can put on a better show for me. I’m not sure how people enjoy/tolerate that medicine taste. Maybe it is the pure energy they get from it outweighs the bad taste. Maybe the other energy drinks don’t try to pass themselves off as sparkling juice. Maybe!

I think it is safe for me to say I’ll be sticking to tea in the morning. Nice try, KickStart. Maybe I’ll revisit your other flavours another time.

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