Hey Rad Blogo
I got some time before closing and things are pretty darn slow right now so why not write here?
I got some chill music to help me out so here’s an idea I wanna explore.
So, my coworker here before he left was talking about some kind of doomsday clock or whatever and I was like what the heck is a doomsday clock? I was gonna link something but I forgot Safari doesn’t like linking things for whatever reason.
Anyhow I was like Ehh. Who is to decide what is doomsday and what isn’t? Then my coworker asked me if I subscribe to the song “Don’t Worry Be Happy.” He had a simple idea there. Why don’t I stop worrying and be happier? It isn’t as easy as I’d like it to be, but the problems I worry about aren’t really problems at all, are they?
I already don’t really care about the world’s problems because I am so into my own problems to even attempt to solve the world. Besides, it isn’t my job to do a lot of that stuff. Yeah, yeah, I know that if I am not part of the solution then I am part of the problem.
Then I guess when it comes to big problems, I just don’t worry about them so I’m less stressed about it. When it comes to my own problems, I worry too much. Maybe somehow I can bring this to a personal level then? What if I didn’t worry about my own problems so much?
I’ve been on plenty of those online forums where people are always complaining about something in their lives. Me, being the mean dude I am, don’t really care! This made me think of how others perceive me and my problems. They must not care either. This entire blog is full of it! What I’ve been writing about is completely boring. No one wants to hear about Chas’ struggles getting a job unless you’re some kind of super empathetic person.
Then again, I designed this blog for me to get whatever I want out and if people wanted to read, they could. I guess it is the same for the people using the online forums too. It is all a medium for people getting problems out in the open.
I’m thinking of a problem I have right now which is finding full time work. I don’t really stress about it honestly. It is here, but it isn’t so huge that it destroys my life. The lack of money and stuff with it kinda does.
So what I’m gonna do is think this through. I blame my degree for not helping me with a full time job and the student loan payments is basically me throwing money away. Okay. Yes. It is true. Now it is time to stop using that as a reason to keep me down. I said in my last post that I am smart enough to find a way around everything. Now it is my time to find away around this.
Yes, my degree is useless. Yes, the student loan payments is throwing away money. I can’t worry about that. It’s sad, it happened, and it’s a shame. I just gotta keep moving on instead of letting this eat at me.
So, maybe my coworker was right about this even though he wasn’t really saying I shouldn’t worry and be happy. He did give me a good idea. I think anything I have, I can do. It happens. It just does. Letting this hold me back is hurting me.
In the end, I’ll do everything I can. Part of existentialism is living for the day. Letting the past take my mind off the day isn’t getting me anywhere.
I don’t think I can be truly happy about anything. I don’t mind that. Being grumpy is fine.
This makes me look into my inferiority complex.
I guess I can’t stop worrying about the past or the future. I guess I really can’t. This doesn’t matter, but what does matter is that there are some things I can see in my life that don’t really do anything. I’m fighting it for no reason like my degree. I seem to be doing fine with what I have now. My job may just be part time with not a huge amount of pay, but it is more than where I was a year ago.
So maybe that solves that.
Now, what can I do about my constant paranoia, inferiority complex, and my over dramatics? That’s another problem in itself. I’m not gonna bother with it though. Not worrying about it now makes me content now. That’s as good of a start as any.
Maybe you can learn from me, if you read this. Some things we stress about aren’t really that important at all. I think I read this about some lady teaching some class about some kind of water being heavy and whatever.
It was pretty dumb but I guess it works.
Will I actually stop it with some small things or am I just saying it? I’m probably just saying it. No matter. I’m more of a guy that needs to see the progress in order to stop worrying. I can kinda see it, but I’d be a lot happier if I knew EXACTLY where I stand with this new job. If I don’t get it, then no problem. If I do get it, even better.
I might have another post in mind later. I’ll make a new one since this is reflecting.