So, I’m doing this Post-a-Day thing again because I feel like writing right now.
The prompt said open the nearest book to page 82 and take the full third sentence on the page and work in into this post.
Unfortunately for me, the closest book was in my closet and in my closet I reached for the first book I could find. Which book is this? It is called Tales of the Elders of Ireland by Ann Dooley and Harry Roe.
This was one of my least favourite classes in college. Irish History through literature or something. I liked the professor, but the subject was just…not me. I can’t even remember this book honestly. Somehow I have to incorporate THAT sentence into this post? Okay. I’m not taking a cop-out and just saying “here’s the sentence!” No. I’ll write something meaningful…right now.
So reflecting back onto things, this week hasn’t been great, but it also has been pretty rad.
I’m not tutoring anymore…for reasons. That’s a big hole honestly, but I can’t go back. It will be okay. I know it.
Today (well yesterday) I had a job interview at the office I work at for a more regular position and for more money. I really want this job. I like the work and having this step up will only be good for me. If I fail, I hope I can find something to fill the gap.
I played and finished this game recently called Always Sometimes Monsters. I liked it, which is strange for me because I usually don’t like games more story driven over action. The game kinda made me think, which I normally don’t like unless I’m the one that initiated the thinking process. It kinda was close to home for me because the main character is a failed writer, kinda like me except I never attempted to write anything but this blog. His (or her) entire life falls apart, which leads to the character in a crappy apartment, alone and behind on rent.
The line is said in the game which is what made me think: “Do I deserve the death I long for or are we always sometimes monsters?”
This to me is something I think I’ve indirectly thought my entire life, especially with looming depression or whatever it’s called. When things get the absolute worst, people might contemplate suicide. It takes a lot to back down from those kinds of thoughts. I think I’ve had experience in it. I’m kinda oblivious to if others are feeling that seriously, which comes to the always sometimes monsters part. Are we always sometimes monsters? Do we all have a sort of bad person in us? I think so. No matter how good someone is, there’s always some kind of darkness in everyone I think. People try to make that pilgrimage to be the ultimate good or to have the ultimate clean soul. I think it is impossible for humanity to be 100% good.
When putting the two thoughts together, I come up with the idea that sure I was a bad bad dude, but does whatever I did make me useless or so bad that I need to be put down? Aren’t we all bad inside or don’t we all have moments of uselessness? It really isn’t up to me to judge, I suppose. In the end, a lot of people will end up at some kind of river of truth: that swirling Taidiu at the edge of the rock, many will come here, travellers for God. Will they find the deity they were hoping to find?
Then I think of that if we don’t deserve the death we long for and are always sometimes monsters, what about criminals? What makes law? I’m terrible at thinking. I am not some kind of wisdom dude that thinks hard about humanity because I honestly couldn’t care about philosophy. I took Into and barely passed.
Somehow I managed to do it. I guess this is more of an exercise of how elastic I am as a writer. Of course I had the most dense book in the world. I had to look back at the text to see what it was in reference to and I found this was some poem some guy was reciting. Somehow I took the game I just played and liked and linked the two. I guess I did it effectively. This reminds me of writing papers for academics again. I kinda liked this. Let’s do it again sometime? Maybe I’ll incorporate it come the next year of the Rad Blog. I got a bunch of books here to do the same.
This post is in response to Connect the Dots on The Daily Post