It’s been some time since the last post though I promised I’d post more so here it is.

I’ve had this one thing on my mind that’s been going through the motions of silent thought to actually making it to the blog. Why didn’t I write it in a proper post? Probably because I didn’t wanna just write about it and not have anything else to say.

So I’ve been looking for full time work or part time with better pay and I thought about what I was thinking about in high school. Why did I pick this major? In high school I was under the delusion that I’d be a teacher but that kinda changed.

The last project I remember in that class was each student was gonna teach a lesson of their choice. They had to research it and teach everyone with a poem or something. At the end there had to be an activity. I was a bit haughty those days and I wanted to be like this teacher. He was young and cool and pretty chill when it came to teaching. I took the approach too.

My lesson was on love poetry and I had like 3 or 4 examples. No one engaged in my lesson. I was perplexed why no one wanted to participate. This didn’t stop me though and I threw it all on my inexperience.

Well college happened and I began to hate the idea of teaching because I wasn’t just inexperienced, but actually a terrible teacher. I like to think I have a good grasp on context but when it comes to it, I am clueless. That day in high school also was a long line of lessons that taught me that I was boring and very much less engaging than I thought I was.

Tonight, I lie here thinking about everything I did wrong. That was the start of it all. That one lesson that I tried to teach should have been the clear sign that said “Chas! Literature is not for you!” As always, I went on and On with reckless abandonment. I sure think a lot but when it comes to big decisions I always bottle it.

With this in mind, I’ve decided the best career for me would be an assistant. Which kind? I don’t know. Personal assistant, executive assistant, office assistant, assistant manager, assistant chef. Basically, anything that has the word “assistant” I can do. As long as I’m not completely in charge of decisions then I will do excellent work. Right hand man is exactly what I am. I’d make a great sidekick. Who am I to be the hero?

Everyone wants Turbo Man. No one likes Booster.

I keep marching onward. I’m trying my best. I’m not upset at my lackluster life, but how long it took me to realize that thinking I can do anything noteworthy was for naught. I blame my friends growing up honestly. I thought I had to be on their level of intelligence to be respected.

College taught me a lot about myself. It taught me that I’m a complete imbecile and that I have no place for academia. It taught me that instead of being something smart, I’m better at being reliable.

I guess I coulda made a blog post out of this.

Moral of the story is that college is not for everyone. I wish I knew better and focused on something more worthwhile and not “What am I gonna do with a Lit degree?”

Bugger all. That’s the answer.

Now I know this I’m gonna stop ruining myself by complaining about how useless literature is and get going with my assistant role. I’ve spent too long lamenting this. I wanna have 2015 clear of it. I’m done. It sucks but I’m moving along.

It’s 4 am and I still want a gyro. The heck is wrong with me?