Yo, yo, yo. I am actually writing about something serious. This should really be called Chas’ opinion on stuff, but I take topics that I don’t have anything to do with! Most of the time I ask people for what I should write about, but I don’t know if I wanna bother people. Okay, I will.
Today’s topic is THIS THING
That’s right, a blue strawberry. Thank you to my sciencey friends here, hey I’m allowed to have sciency friends.
So apparently this thing is like made by generic engineering which is a whole other topic in itself, but I’m talking about this here blue strawberry. So it was made from some kinda fish cells so it doesn’t freeze. That’s pretty rad, but people get freakin scared of this kinda stuff. It is now not just a strawberry, but a super strawberry. Farmers don’t just put seeds in the ground and say dear sun, grow this plant because I need the moneys, nope. They ask the scientists to make it so it doesn’t freeze. That’s cool and all because people like these strawberries. We can now eat them on places like Canada and Santa’s house.
Seriously, though. Why not a freeze gene over a gene that keeps it fresh forever. If you’re worried that it will rot, you put it in the freezer. Now you can’t freeze it because its unfreezable. It’s gonna be terrible! You’re gonna have a rotten berry that you probably paid 2 bucks for! No! Gimme a strawberry that doesn’t rot. We can keep it forever. Another thing! Why is it that I always hear about fish cells making foods different. Like, what? Fish must have the answer to everything. I bet the cure for cancer is in a starfish. I bet the cure for hay fever is in seahorses….get it?
Well, besides the fact that it is modified it is blue. When I think of strawberries, I think of red. Yo! When stupid kids in Kindey-garden act like a-holes and say strawberries are blue, they won’t be wrong on purpose now….but they’re still gonna be a-holes because they will be like oh teacher, there is a blue strawberry now! Little snot. I’m gonna pummel you if you tell me that. Go play with Lumoknight.
I usually am attracted to blue things. I like my battery acid soda. I like Kalypso Lemonade. I like all that sort of blue stuff. Blue strawberries, maybe. I don’t really care for the fruit itself. Falvoured stuff is iight.
Maybe the seeds will carry on the wayward son. We’ll have a fleet of blue strawberries. It’ll take over the world, son. 2113. No more red strawberries. All blue. Oh shoot. That song, Blue. I have a blue house with a blue window….you know? Yeah. He was way before his time. He was trying to warn us. First it might be strawberries, but then we’ll have a super blue people race that like will enslave all the other races until there isn’t anything but blue people. Global warming is melting the ice. Water is blue. It’s gonna flood the world. Oh shoot. I’m scared now. What beats water? Electric. From now on, I’m carrying spark plugs with me. Gotta defend the humanity from this BLUEmanity. Now I sound like the Illusive Man. Oh snap….his eyes…ARE BLUE. Is he in on this?! I’m scared, yo. Wait a sec….this blog has A LOT OF BLUE! IT’S ALREADY STARTING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!